If you’re reading this, you probably agree with me that intimacy is a serious problem in many marriages and that surviving a sexless marriage without cheating is far more difficult than you might think
The following are some of the things you’ll learn in this article:
- What does a sexless marriage entail?
- The potential of a sexless marriage
- The consequences of a sexless marriage.
- Sexless marriages’ psychological repercussions.
- Suggestions on how to survive a sexless marriage without cheating.
What Does a Sexless Marriage Entail?
A “sexless marriage” does not actually mean – NO SEX! But…
A sexless marriage occurs when there is little or no sexual activity between spouses. According to the 1992 US National Health and Social Life Survey, 2% of married respondents (aged 18 to 59) reported no sexual intimacy in the past year.
A non-sexual marriage is typically defined as one in which sexual contact occurs fewer than 10 times per year, in which case 20% of the couples in the National Health and Social Life Survey would fall into this category. According to other surveys, 10% or less of married people under the age of 50 had not had sex in the previous year. In addition, only about 20% of people say they have sex a few times a year, if at all.
Moreover, when one partner feels sexually neglected and the other spouse has little to no desire in repairing the sexual relationship, the problem of a sexless marriage becomes a major issue in marriages.
Reasons for a Sexless Marriage
You might assume that the causes for many sexless marriages are mostly due to a lack of interest or low libido. That may be so, but there are many other contributing factors besides those.
Here are a few suggested reasons for a sexless marriage:
- Soldiers suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and/or persistent physical damage.
- Past sexual abuse/rape, as well as the psychological consequences.
- Obesity as a result of a physical injury has complicated my health.
- Obesity as a whole.
- Menopause or pre-menopause
- Erectile dysfunction (ED) is a condition that affects men
- Anxiety, depression, and stress.
- Surgical procedures that change your life
- Illness that has lasted a long time
- Counseling is required for a dysfunctional marriage partnership.
As you can see, there are a number of issues that might result in a sexless marriage. While living in a sexless marriage might be a challenging situation to deal with, keep in mind that the person you love may be suffering emotionally or physically from a condition that cannot be helped.
Of course, we’ve only mentioned a few hypothetical conditions that could lead to a sexless marriage; there are many more, and listing them all would be difficult.
Remember that your relationship was built on love, and compassion is frequently the best virtue to have when a loved one is going through something like this.
The Potential Damage of Sexless Marriage
When one or both partners are unhappy with sexlessness in a marriage, the following are some of the possible consequences:
- Loneliness, bitterness, frustration, remorse, rejection, and inadequacy are all negative emotions.
- Negative sentiments and pressure related to sex, which lead to a sexual avoidance cycle.
- There is a lack of openness and connection.
- There is a decrease in benevolence and kindness.
- There is less patience with one another.
- It keeps your immune system humming.
That said, here are 10 Surprising Health Benefits of Sex, according to WebMD.
- It increases libido.
- It helps bladder control in women.
- It helps to reduce blood pressure.
- It is considered exercise.
- It lessens the chance of a heart attack.
- It helps to alleviate discomfort.
- It has the potential to reduce the risk of prostate cancer.
- It helps you sleep better.
- It reduces anxiety.
That isn’t to imply that in many marriages, sexlessness isn’t acceptable. There are some people who are perfectly content without sex, thus it is not a problem for them. It all relies on the couple, their particular requirements, and how they communicate and meet those needs.
However, if one or both persons are dissatisfied, a negative cycle will certainly emerge, with some spillover into the remainder of the relationship.
Sexless Marriages’ Psychological Repercussions
Lack of sex can lead to mental health problems, particularly when a man believes he is unable to perform adequately in bed while still meeting his wife’s sexual requirements. The psychological effects of a sexless marriage may result as a result of this. And it may lead to depression, low-self esteem, and anxiety, which are all common side effects of a sexless relationship.
How to Survive a Sexless Marriage Without Cheating
CAN A SEXLESS MARRIAGE SURVIVE? The quick answer is that a sexless marriage can last – but it will cost you. Lack of sex can lead to a lack of connection and time spent together, emotions of bitterness, and even adultery if one spouse desires sex while the other is not interested. Even if both parties are on the same page – both have low sex drives, there is a physical distance such as military deployment or a disability or medical condition that is causing the sexless marriage – the pair must be diligent in finding other methods to create connection.
If you’re in the first type of sexless marriage, where you’re feeling alienated and unwanted due to unequal sex drives or other marital issues, it’s critical to seek help.
FIXING A SEXLESS MARRIAGE
First and foremost, alter your thinking. Rather than spending all your time over how to make it through a sexless marriage without cheating, make a commitment to rekindling that lost sense of desire. Find out what you can do in a sexless marriage to reclaim that physical intimacy and connection. Here are nine suggestions to get you started:
1. Talk to Your Spouse
It’s crucial to express yourself with your partner rather than keeping your feelings to yourself because not communicating your true feelings can lead to a poor decision.
2. Don’t Avoid the Real Issue
After stating how you’re feeling in the relationship, state what caused those feelings.
If you believe there is a lack of physical intimacy in the relationship, you should express it openly.
3. Tell the Truth
No one wants to be the cause of someone’s suffering.
If there is a genuine issue with the other person causing a married, no-sex situation, it must be addressed in order to figure out how to cope with a sexless marriage.
It’s always better to be completely honest in a loving manner so that you and your partner can both move forward in a healthy relationship.
4. Don’t Make Assumptions or Try to Solve the Problem by Guessing
When a partner tries to guess “why,” the guess can exacerbate tensions between you because the determination is frequently incorrect, exposing other issues.
When trying to rekindle a sexless marriage, you need to ask the right questions.
5. Discuss Each Other’s Requirements
Of course, for one of you, the end goal will be to improve sexual intimacy, but what are the core needs that aren’t being met that are causing the gap?
Sexless marriage support groups are frequently helpful in starting the conversation.
Perhaps there is a need to make compromises with companionship, such as substituting a night of cuddling on the sofa for a night of sex.
6. Look for Other Options or Ways to Relieve Your Frustration
To relieve frustration, outlets may be required.
Find activities that you enjoy doing with or without your partner.
Males tend to avoid those closest to them, usually their significant other when they are frustrated.
In this case, physical activity, such as working out or following a fitness regimen, is a fantastic way to relieve stress.
7. Take Time to Enjoy Each Other’s Company
With the numerous responsibilities that life throws at us, time often flies by, leaving little time for intimacy – of any kind.
It’s critical to spend time with those we care about without any sort of agenda, intentions, or schedules to keep track of.
8. Keep in Mind Why You Married
Allow yourself to be vulnerable and truthful with yourself.
You’ll reach a point where you’ll notice attractiveness all around you and begin to reason why something previously unthinkable could make sense.
9. Use empathy
Apart from being a partner, remember who you are a companion and friend to your spouse. Your response to the question “do sexless marriages survive?” will be determined by how you approach each other.
Many people’s sexuality, or lack thereof, can bring out a side of them that takes away from the kindness and empathy required in a partnership struggling to find common ground with unmet needs.
It’s critical that we don’t turn on each other instead of banding together to fight for a union worth fighting for.
The key here is working together with patience and understanding to find whatever improvement might be possible.
Final Thoughts on Surviving a Sexless Marriage With Cheating
Nobody expects to encounter one of the more difficult relationship challenges, such as the so-called “sexless marriage,” when they marry. However, it is a serious issue for many couples. But hopefully, this post has been informative and will provide the motivation and guidance needed to work through these challenges with grace and wisdom.